Bradders at home

I.D cards don't ya just love em?

Thieving bastards, no trouble paying their mortgages with our money whilst we are been evicted at record rates, a bit of the old Mussolini treatment wouldn't be a bad Idea for some of these shitbags.

After being married for nearly 36 years I thought I knew love but listening to the sighs of my grandson as he slept on my chest today I've realised real love, he is so beautiful and my love for him is of cosmic proportions.

Equitas non pallious Twiglets et dracus por nosta
Roughly translated means "I've just had a shit that looks like Twiglets"
The only thing is it tasted like Twiglets as well.

Knowledge has to be learned.
Wisdom has to be earned.

If you want knowledge ask a teacher.
If you want wisdom ask yourself

If you ask a teacher, “What is one plus one”? He’ll say “Two”.
If you ask a wise man “What is one plus one”? He’ll say “One and one”

He’ll say “One and one because you could be talking about an Apple and an Orange,
Quite clearly that’s one Apple and one Orange, “Ah” you say but “It’s two fruits”, ok next time you go to the greengrocer’s ask for two fruits and see what you get, it just might be an Apple and an Orange but I bet it’s closer to a blank look.

Never assume, always seek the truth and if that means thinking a little differently then so be it, ask yourself questions and you’ll get answers, perhaps not at first but they will come, beware though because answers from the true self are often cryptic and have to be worked out and that’s how you gain wisdom.

Good luck with your two fruits, if you get an Apple and an Orange I’ll delete this post.

I fucking would and I don't know why cos she ain't the best looking bit of frippet I've ever cast me mincers on, it must be the six beers I've had poor old Claude she's a six pinter, nah! I'd the arse off her even if I was sober, ooooh! Jilted John has just come on the stereo whooooohooo.

Been fucking about all day with me wireless router, the trouble is that the office is at the bottom of the garden so I had it wired because the signal is a bit faint down there so when I take me laptop down there I have to switch from wireless to wired, now I've put Mac address filtering on me router and I didn't realise that the ethernet card has it's own Mac address that's different from me wireless card, fucking idiot, I should stick to lorry driving, fucking computers, how the fuck do people that ain't got a scooby get on cos at least I know a little bit?

Ever since I joined fucking Facebook I've been inundated with junk mail, one said "Keep your wife happy all night long" for the Foxy Chick that would be for me to fuck off down the pub and leave her in peace, another said "Increase the size of your penis by up to 4 inches" what happens if I've already got ten fucking inches? how do they know that my penis is small? they piss me off no end, bastards.

Fully expect to have an arse like a Baboon tomorrow cos I've just partaken of a nice hot curry and a pint of Guinness, the curry had an exit strategy of 20 minutes but decided to withdraw piecemeal at about 10% at a time, one curry ten trots, Voila! one empty colon.
1. colonic irrigation, £400.00.
2. One hot Ruby and a Guinness £12.00.
Slimming on the cheap.

I'm watching her on Johnny Ross and it's obvious she's had something done but I still would, am I fucking mad or what?

Mandelson gets his face covered in custard, fuck all new there then, it'll be a Pearl necklace next.

Still watching TMF and the Foxy Chick says that she loves Flat Eric

On facebook you get adverts on the right hand side of the page and one reads "Lose four dress sizes" yeah, eat at The Fat Duck and shit away four dress sizes in one night.

If you pay £500 to eat the sort of fucking shite that this clown dishes up don't expect any sympathy from me when you get the shits, serves you fucking right for having more money than fucking sense, bunch of C**ts, Jim Rosental gives me the shits so I'm glad I've got my own back, hook nosed bastard, if he wants to come to my house I'll poison the fucker properly along with his mate Barry Mcguigan.

I'm a firestarter twisted firestarter, well I ain't but this geezer is, I'm watching TMF and they're playing some fucking cracking tracks with the exception of Cotton Eye Joe that is, takes me back to when I was a hunky fanny magnet.

At the moment of my sacking I was presented with a bottle of Williams Well Red and I'm drinking it now to ease the pain, very nice it is, just watched the video of "Don't Stop" wiggle wiggle by the outhere brothers, fantastic video, I would love to have lived in the twenties and thirties with the girls and the dancing, girls dresses in those days were so sexy and the hairstyles were amazing, pehaps I did live in those days who knows?

I've been stting on a commitee at work for a couple of years and today I was sacked and I'm gutted, at least I've still got my truck driving job to fall back on, but very sad all the same.

I'm addicted to facebook

I have a confession to make, I've shopped at IKEA, Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgh! I bought two laptop tables for the Foxy Chick and me, I'm so ashamed, my mother will be spinning in her grave, I feel so dirty I must go and wash my genitals, do you think I'll burn in hell?

According to the government we are all going to die from heatstroke when the country warms up to 38.5 degrees because of global warming, never mind, there there, the politicians will save us, they're are going to let us stop working at 11.00 am until 3.00 pm, if I ask my boss if I can have a siesta between 11 and 3 he'll tell me to fuck off and work for the council, I know a lot of people that can't wait for temperatures of 38.5 degrees, bring it on, Gay Gordon can poke his blacked out windows and loose clothing up his arse because I'm already stripped off and counting down, sorry no pictures.